So after waiting a month, I got a call from the receptionist at the psychiatrist’s office. I can have an appointment tomorrow. Will I come?
HA! If she had told me the appointment was on Mars I would have said yes. My scheduled appointment wasn’t supposed to be until June 11th, but I had asked to be put on a cancellation list due to the severity of my depression.
So tomorrow I get to meet my psychiatrist. And I’m nervous. I know he is well thought of, and has tons of experience. I know this is what I need. I still have to go to a new office, a new doctor, and lay out all my problems, my deficiencies, my flaws. Why my mind is broken and needs to be fixed with meds, because I sure as hell can’t do it by myself.
Ironically, I think the combination of wellbutrin and prozac, along with the frequent psychotherapy, is starting to work. At least I felt a little bit better this weekend. One thing that has not gotten better is my frequent agitation. I may feel fine one moment, then 5 minutes later my hands are shaking, heart beating out of my chest, face flushed. Not quite a panic attack but not quite your average anxiety either. Agitated at everything and everyone. It passes after a while, or sometimes it takes a few hours. It’s one of the worst parts of this disease. That’s another symptom of depression that surprised me. Frequent agitation and irritability.
I really hope the doctor can help. I hope if he changes my meds, that it’s an easy transition. I just want to get better.