Or at least that’s what it feels like. Today I woke up feeling down. My psychologist says that recovery is not a straight line uphill. That just because I feel a bit better one day, doesn’t mean I won’t have a sad day the next. No shit. Right now my good days are still few.
Anyway, I woke up down, so I made the effort to do things that would make me feel good (or at least okay). I went for coffee and had a nice latte. I shopped a little. I picked out new eyeglasses.
Still felt shitty.
Took a nap.
Forced myself to do laundry and make the bed.
It’s always there. The tears might not come, but the sadness, that I can rely on.
Oh, and “sadness” is the most unsatisfactory word. There is no word that indicates the total sadness, loss of joy, and hopelessness that is depression. The word “depression” doesn’t even cover it.
Screw you, dictionary. Screw you, depression.
FYI: I’m new at this blog stuff and am just figuring out links and stuff. This blog by Christy is good. http://sweetandsavoring.com/
The blog “Hyperbole and a Half” by Allie is the best description of depression on the entire Internet. Thank you Allie, for putting it into words for me. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/
- Hyperbole and a Half (mycerebellarstrokerecovery.com)
- Depression is Not Sadness (hiswifesblog.wordpress.com)