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Tomorrow’s the day

Second psych consult tomorrow. I feel like puking, I’m so nervous. Of course that’s part of the anxiety I have about pretty much everything. I feel the depression is really lifting, but I’m terrified it’s going to come back.  Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. One often leads to the other. In my case, I’ve been anxious since childhood. But the depression didn’t come until much later. Now I’m 35 and I’ve had four major depressive episodes. The more often you have them, unfortunately, the more likely they are to return, even without warrant.

So tomorrow I see the psychiatrist, and see if he tells me anything different. I do not want to wait my life out, waiting for the next episode. I want the depression and anxiety under control. I am working on the ruminations with my psychologist, but I know I need meds. My mind just won’t quiet with all the worries, going round and round like the proverbial hamster wheel.

I’ve been on some form of antidepressant for the better part of ten years. Sigh. God that sounds bad. But without them, I fear I would be much worse. So I’ve come to accept the pills.

Let’s see what the good dr says to me tomorrow.

Meanwhile, one week on the super duper iron pills from hell and I’ve puked three times.  Fun.

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4 thoughts on “Tomorrow’s the day

  1. I empathize with you and your plight. The meds issue is so disheartening. I tried 5, none worked, so I went through hell.
    Well I guess you could say the cymbalta worked, except those vice like headaches and nausea.
    Keep hanging in.
    It is to me about those deep seated emotional conflicts that are below the level of consciousness that are the root of my problem. It aint easy getting down there.
    Jim

  2. Yeah, like Jim said above, I’ve tried at least half a dozen meds myself. I just say this so you know you’re not alone. We know how much it sucks and how easy it is to judge yourself for being weak or whatever. Hell, diabetics take insulin, lots of people have chronic things that require meds. Why do we beat ourselves up over our faulty brains? I dunno. Let’s just stop that now, okay? 🙂 Best of luck tomorrow, or today rather as it’s really late!

  3. Good luck with the appointment. It will be fine. Always remember – if you broke your arm and had to go to the doctor – would you be nervous? Broken or misfiring neurons is the same. I’ve some to accept this in me. You are brave to share your feelings with us here on this blog – you will also be brave with the doc. Hugs

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