So I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist for 11 months. I can say with some certainty that my depression has lifted, but that my anxiety continues, and every day I battle with it. The med combination that I’m on now seems to be working and both my dr and I are hesitant to change it. Dr. L. allows me to determine how much clonazepam I need daily. I vary between 1 – 2 mgs. It honestly depends on the day. The other two meds are fixed doses and we are going to stick with them right now.
This year (it will be a year on June 6) has been difficult, but I have noticed a difference in the past three months. I feel better about my thesis and doing work in general. I have more calm days than agitated ones. The days that I am agitated I try to remember to take the higher dose of clonaz. I’m kind of working on a “Let Go and Let God” sort of mantra. I do not consider myself very religious but that phrase does help me, and I do consider myself to be spiritual.
I am still me, a year later, and I’m pretty happy about that. I’m still afraid that I’ll jinx it somehow, if I say that I came out on the other side, but I do feel like I survived. And for anyone who has ever battled depression and anxiety, survival is what we’re going for. So here’s to you, fellow survivors.