Rough day

I had a really rough day.  I went to my counselling session this morning and just cried and cried. I am really sick of this. And I told him as much. He has been empathic and reassuring, but I still cry. How long am I to be sad? How much longer can I take this?

We tried to come up with some activities that might provide some respite from the darkness. I told him I didn’t know how to have fun anymore. But he pushed me to remember a few things. He encouraged me to “play”. Something I definitely don’t remember how to do. But it’s essential for me to do it.  Not every activity has to have a purpose.

That resonated with me,  so after my session,  I went to the rocky beach and watched the waves. For pleasure. Can’t say it was fun,  but it was somewhat enjoyable. And that’s something, at least.

It was the nicest I felt all day. I loved the sounds of waves crashing.


Maybe I’ll go again tomorrow.